1. You can’t drink wine in the gym. Apparently it’s frowned upon to fill your water bottle with a good pinot grigio. I tried once. And was promptly asked not to return to that particular Equinox.
2. Some people love the muscles aches from a good, intense work out. I do not. They hurt. They burn. They are not fun. I’m not a masochist.
3. It detracts from my Netflix time. If I skip working out, I can fit in a whole episode or two of whichever TV show I’m currently binging.
4. The clothing. 90% of exercise apparel is tight and colorful. If you know me than you are aware that I like loose, worn, men’s clothing that has a lot of holes (from wear) in it. Apparently there is no market for vintage running tops and leggings.
5. Soul Cycle/ Lulu Lemon b-tches are the worst. I don’t want to hear about your chia smoothie or Acai bowl. Fruit loops are just as colorful and taste better than that shit.
6. Sweat. I don’t like to sweat. It’s gross and makes me look ugly. Enough said.
7. Apparently you have to do it like everyday. I’m not that dedicated to anything (except Netflix, see above)